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A reason explains; an excuse forgives. Confusing the two corrodes progress. Decades before I started mentoring professionally, it struck me that humans do not make a distinction between reason and excuse. This leads to suboptimal outcomes from the individual level to the planetary level. Today’s conversation is about helping you notice the invisible obstacles you place in your own path and guiding you away from paths that seem harmless but quietly lead to danger. I am going to tell you about a tiny shift in your thinking pattern that, without any help from anyone else, can compound your efforts to provide you with beautiful gains on the path ahead.

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Contents

Background & Motivation
Not Just English Words
Meta-Thinking
Justification & Honesty
Large Scale Examples
1234Financial Products
1234Sickcare vs Healthcare
1234Ayurveda
1234Nationalist Politics
1234Alcohol and Health Influencers
Root Causes
1234The Unholy Trinity
1234Early Childhood Programming
1234Evolutionary Mismatch
1234Dishonesty with Self
Target Benchmark
Action Plan
1234Hypervigilance and Self-Awareness
1234Intellectual Honesty and Humility
1234The Implementation Gap
1234Voluntary Hormetic Shocks
1234Journaling
1234Patience & Greed
Leadership
Virtuous Spiral to Superhuman
Take-Home Message
Parting Message

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Background and Motivation [top]

It was in my early 20s that I started becoming hyperalert to the fact that whenever humans did the wrong thing or did not do the right thing, they would provide an explanation for their action or inaction. As a reason is not the same as a justification, it becomes important to make an important distinction between reason and excuse. A man’s hormones and lack of self-control might be reason for misbehaving with a female, but they do not become an excuse for his inexcusable behaviour.

For what are crimes as per the law of the land, this phenomenon of having a reason rather than an excuse has institutionally enforced consequences. Consider driving under the influence of alcohol with the reason that you did not want to call a cab. Or driving above the safe speed limit for the simple reason that you were running late for a meeting. These are simple examples of crimes that, if detected by the authorities, lead to punishment.

What I see happening more frequently and is more wicked for law-abiding citizens like you and me is when this phenomenon occurs, where there is no law of the land broken. The adult who is late meeting a friend and shrugs it off with the reason, “I overslept again”. The mother who feeds her kids food she ordered using an app with the reason that the house cook is visiting his village for a week of vacation. The medical doctor who makes their patients wait for hours and then sees them for only 5 minutes each, citing the reason that they “have a long line of patients in the waiting room”. An airline that announces “late arrival of the incoming flight” as the reason for the delay in your flight departing.

These everyday examples of the phenomenon occur very frequently in the everyday lives of law-abiding citizens. As there is no law enforcement system in such situations, automatically accepting a reason to be an excuse is the reason for lots of problems.

Even as I try to observe my own thought processes and actions for a better future for myself, I thought it would be good to speak to you in more depth about this topic today. My hope is that we will all modify our future thinking and behaviour in ways that lead to better outcomes at an individual, societal and planetary level.

Before an action plan, let us briefly consider various topics around this phenomenon I call “Reason not Excuse”.

That this distinction, though subtle, is slippery becomes clearer when filtered through language itself.

Not Just English Words [top]

Someone may provide a reason for their behaviour. That reason can be sincere, flimsy, or even manipulative. An excuse is a reason that actually holds up under scrutiny, one that makes the behaviour acceptable or forgivable.

You can experience, at this very moment when you are reading this in English, that there is a subtle and dangerous blending of these two words into becoming synonyms in your mind. Simply ask yourself, “What are the exact and distinct words for reason and excuse in the other languages I know?” You might find that you know the word for “reason” but may struggle to quickly identify, from memory, the single word for “excuse” in almost all your languages.

Meta-Thinking [top]

If the total value you will extract from your life is driven by the many decisions you have made and will make, it is important that you think about your thinking. My dictum from Ayn Rand applies here: “The refusal to think is evil.”

As a general rule, the fewer resources you allocate to a process, the less you might expect as outcomes from that process. Consider the process of assessing the payoff from an outcome that follows as a result of an action that you took after a decision that was based on some thinking with available information in the duration you allocated to the decision. Each of those italicized long words in that breathless sentence carries embedded value – pause, unpack it, and extract its worth.

Most often, we do not go past what I call Binary Thinking, even though we have the external and internal resources to do so. Incorrectly labelling your reason as an excuse becomes a limiting label, and that, as a habit, cannot be a good thing accumulated over a lifetime.

Justification & Honesty [top]

If an “excuse” is a “valid justification”, it is worth noting that the words “justification” and “justice” come from Latin roots with meanings around fairness and righteousness. When all we provide is a reason that is not a justification tantamount to being an excuse, we have, at the core, dishonesty to ourselves.

Once again, my tagline, “The refusal to think is evil”, borrowed from Ayn Rand, stands at the foundation of how I like to live my life.

Large Scale Examples [top]

What begins as flimsy rationalizations at the individual level, like a student using “I overslept” as the reason for their tardiness, scales up into societal patterns where corporations, institutions, and even governments disguise reasons as excuses, leaving communities and nations worse off. Here are some examples where reasons portrayed as excuses leave society worse off:

Dishonest Representation of Financial Products: Corporations, by design, prioritise shareholder profit over customer welfare, using dishonest representation as a reason to hide their greed. For example, what you think is normal to call “health insurance” is factually wrong, and the correct term should be “DAFER” (disease and accident financial expense reduction). Why have we, as a society, let insurance companies distract us from taking control of our health by equating it to money? “Help with medical bills” is a reason, but this is not a valid excuse for misrepresentation that facilitates financial wealth transfer and internal wealth destruction. You ensure good health, i.e. internal wealth, by following a good lifestyle. [top]

Sickcare instead of Healthcare: Many medical professionals provide “sickcare” by treating symptoms while claiming patients only want a “magic pill,” a reason rooted in the energy conservation and pain avoidance of the Unholy Trinity. This is not a valid excuse, as a true healthcare system would require moderate effort through lifestyle changes to prevent and cure disease rather than just manage it for profit. Passing blame on to patients for not focusing on a cure through lifestyle cannot be an excuse for using medication that only treats symptoms. [top]

Ayurveda: Citing ancestral habits is a common reason for behaviour, yet tradition alone is not a valid excuse for continuing practices that science now proves harmful. For example, Indians often cite Ayurveda as a reason to justify consuming saturated fats like ghee or coconut oil, which lacks modern empirical scientific justification. Without data to back up the claim that such habits are beneficial in a modern sedentary context, the citation of tradition remains a flimsy rationalisation rather than a justified excuse. Scientific exploration can help us confirm the effectiveness of many wonderful ancestral practices. [top]

Nationalist Politics: Right-wing nationalist politics often use the creation of an “enemy” as a reason to instil fear and maintain the status quo, yet these actions frequently lack the moral and legal standing of true justice. Such policies serve as mere rationalisations for the greed of those in power rather than legitimate excuses for infringing on human rights. [top]

Alcohol and Health Influencers: Many medical professionals and health influencers used “moderation” as a reason to avoid challenging cultural norms, even though the safe limit for alcohol has long been known to be zero. This malicious moderation served the financial interests of the alcohol and pharmaceutical industries rather than providing the scientific justification required to be a valid excuse for misleading the public. [top]

Root Causes [top]

The tendency to offer unjustified reasons rather than valid excuses has deep roots in human psychology and social conditioning. At its core lies what I call the Unholy Trinity – the primal instincts to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and conserve energy.

The Two-Stage Failure of the Unholy Trinity [top]

Unjustified reasons emerge in two distinct appearances of the Unholy Trinity.

Stage One: The individual chooses a suboptimal action, often to gain immediate pleasure or avoid short-term pain.

Stage Two: The individual avoids the mental effort required to construct a valid justification. Since the brain naturally conserves energy, flimsy reasons are accepted instead of rigorous excuses.

Takeaway: Pleasure, pain, and energy conservation explain the act; they will not always excuse it.

Early Childhood Programming [top]

This habit often begins in childhood. Parents, pressed for time or with limited mental endurance, may offer children logically weak reasons. The child, equally inclined to conserve energy, accepts these explanations rather than challenging them. Over time, this normalises the use of “flimsy justifications.”

Takeaway: Weak logic taught early becomes weak logic lived later.

The Evolutionary Mismatch [top]

Our internal wiring is mismatched with the demands of modern life.

The Primitive Brain: The amygdala is built for survival and relies on shortcuts and binary thinking.

The Modern Brain: The prefrontal cortex is capable of nuanced spectrum thinking, but it is slower and energy-hungry.

The Result: Humans default to shortcuts, settling for general reasons instead of valid excuses.

Takeaway: Evolution gave us speed; progress demands depth.

Dishonesty with Self [top]

At the heart of unjustified reasons lies dishonesty to oneself. Accepting a flimsy reason avoids the pain of admitting failure. This wilful blindness protects the ego but sacrifices long-term value.

Takeaway: Dishonesty may spare the ego today, but it bankrupts the future.

Target Benchmark [top]

The gold standard is a lifetime of valid reasons, i.e. excuses, and zero invalid reasons. Here too, the lesson applies – the reason that we cannot achieve gold cannot be an excuse for not working towards silver.

Action Plan [top]

How could we modify our future behaviour so that life’s trajectory is not at the mercy of injustices we impose on ourselves?

Develop Hypervigilance and Self-Awareness [top]

If you, too, can clearly see that the phenomenon “Reason not Excuse” is real and everywhere around us, you are in a good position to break away from the pack and be the best leader for yourself. It is going to require you to be hypervigilant at first, and then, over time, it will become second nature to observe this instantly in the words of others and also observe it occurring less frequently in your own explanations.

If the first part is making the distinction between reason and excuse, the second part is taking action based on it. Even if you do not always take the correct action (the second and more important part), it is wise to recognize the distinction (the first and necessary part).

At the individual level, begin by identifying flimsy justifications—phrases like ‘I forgot,’ ‘I was not aware,’ or blaming others—which rarely withstand scrutiny. Then spot the Unholy Trinity at work, those primal urges to avoid pain, seek pleasure, or conserve energy, which push the brain toward shortcuts and general reasons instead of valid excuses. Finally, practice Purunoia, a healthy fear of long-term negative consequences, by asking yourself whether your decision arises from courage and strength or from fear and weakness.

Cultivate Intellectual Honesty and Humility [top]

At the core of unjustified reasons lies dishonesty to oneself, a refusal to admit failure; cultivating intellectual honesty and humility means fostering teachability through constant self-check-ins, resisting limiting labels like ‘I’m not a gym person,’ and guarding against external forces such as marketing or social pressure by focusing on your internal culture. Alongside this, implement Non-Negotiables—habits so integral to your identity that you rarely break them—starting with a low bar to avoid the all-or-nothing trap and anchoring them in process rather than outcome, so that consistent actions compound and flimsy explanations lose their grip.

Close the Implementation Gap [top]

Where knowledge is a bottleneck for making the right decision, educate yourself. Education is, in any case, a lifelong process. But more often the real obstacle is the Implementation Gap between what we know and what we actually do; to bridge it, adopt a growth mindset that shifts your inner dialogue from ‘I cannot’ to ‘I still will,’ and apply the SAID Principle by recognizing that both body and mind adapt specifically to the demands imposed, meaning consistent, correct inputs are the only path to the outcomes you seek.

Voluntary Hormetic Shocks [top]

Many of our unjustified explanations emanate from wanting to escape pain. The way to actively achieve personal growth is by nurturing an internal culture of routinely voluntarily exposing yourself to hormetic shocks. The less often you provide reasons for not taking a cold shower, the less often you are likely to present flimsy reasons for other things in life.

Journaling [top]

Writing about your day and reflecting on events, including your decisions and those of others, and the logic behind them, creates a process for you to become wiser over time. The foolish do not learn from their own mistakes – the wise learn from the mistakes of others. So, daily journaling does not just make you a Consistency Conqueror, it also makes you wiser with minimal effort. If a successful life is, to a large part, because of wise decision-making, then journaling is a habit with a high ROTI.

Practice Patience & Greed [top]

Remind yourself that patience gives you power. Behaviour modification is a long-term project that requires the tenacity to achieve mastery over your own mind. Focus on the long-term greedy approach of capital preservation and growth of your internal wealth rather than short-term convenience.

Leading by Example [top]

True influence begins not with titles but with actions. When you consistently distinguish between reasons and excuses, you invite others to do the same. You do not need an institution to call you a leader—your courage in choosing the harder right over the easier wrong is the badge of leadership. Friends will follow your example when they see you persist despite inconvenience, and children will learn resilience simply by watching you embrace what is difficult. Do the right thing even when it costs you, and you will light the path for others.

Leadership is not claimed; it is demonstrated.

Virtuous Spiral to Superhuman [top]

Keeping all your senses and mind wide open, it should be clear that those who reach what seems like superhuman performance to the rest of us are simply those men and women who learned to live life without providing “flimsy reasons”, and then progressing on to living life with “almost no excuses”. It is only you who stops yourself from being on a virtuous cycle where you provide fewer and fewer invalid reasons, and eventually find that you can get stronger than even your strongest valid excuses.

At its root, self-mastery includes the ability to conquer the phenomenon I call “Reason not Excuse”.

Take-Home Message [top]

Never mistake a reason for an excuse: a reason simply explains an action, but only an excuse – a reason that holds up to scrutiny – actually justifies it. When you automatically accept your own flimsy reasons (“I overslept,” “I was too busy”) as valid excuses, you short-circuit accountability and stall your progress. This tendency stems from the Unholy Trinity – avoiding pain, seeking pleasure, and conserving energy – which leads you to take suboptimal actions and then rationalize them with minimal mental effort. To break the habit, practice hypervigilance: catch yourself using weak justifications and ask whether your decision comes from courage or from fear and laziness. Build non-negotiable habits, expose yourself to voluntary discomfort (like cold showers), and journal daily to sharpen your honesty. The goal is not perfection but a lifetime of valid excuses – and zero invalid ones. Lead by example: every time you choose the harder right over the easier wrong, you invite others to do the same.

Parting Message [top]

The majority of readers who landed on this article would have had some reason to not read past the first few lines. Whether their reasons were valid excuses or not, what matters to me is that you did not provide an excuse and reached the end of this conversation. I hope that what you have read leaves you even more committed to always making a clear distinction between reason and excuse.

It is your smallest of habits that define who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. If everything you do is consistent with your core beliefs and desires, then a long and healthy life of joy is pretty much guaranteed to be yours. If you would like detailed guidance, you know how to reach me. If you found this useful, please do share it with others.

Puru

Dr Purnendu Nath spends his waking hours focusing on helping individuals and organizations reach their goals, to make the world a better place. He speaks, writes and advises on topics such as finance, investment management, discipline, education, self-improvement, exercise, nutrition, health and fitness, leadership and parenting.